by Paul Blyth
(Narrogin, Western Australia)
I have been staying open to acceptance of the Pain Body...
(a note for readers: "Pain Body" could be described as an energy field that lives in the body and mind, which creates and feeds off of emotional pain or negativity).
...Allowing it to be as best I can as go about my day, reassuring myself at times that it is the pain body.
It is a constant daily practice that often leaves me drained and doubting. I practice inner body awareness meditation periodically through out the day. I have learned a method of heart centre focus as part of living in presence with the Pain Body. Focusing and breathing through the centre of my chest. At times a deep feeling of peace and openness starts to spread through out my being and I feel very relaxed. The Pain Body sensations seem to melt away.
My question is: is this denial of staying present with the Pain Body by seeking to feel this peace?
Not necessarily. Don’t analyse yourself, this is just the mind coming back in. The mind wants to draw you in to the idea that it (“I”) is constantly practicing daily, trying to dissolve the pain or keep it at bay. No wonder there is a feeling of exhaustion. Constant practice implies constant effort, and there comes a time when one’s personal efforts to be at peace or to be free from pain, is the very thing that maintains the sense of separation.
It is normal for there to be an aversion to pain, and an enjoyment of peace and relaxation. I would not call it a denial of presence with the pain, but the search for peace will often actually take you further from it.
Peace is no conflict. The pain body or energies of emotional pain are energies that love conflict and feed on it. You do not need to seek peace, but rather relinquish conflict. Our very desire for the pain to be gone, for the pain to be transcended, is what keeps the pain prevalent. Do not put expectations on yourself or the pain energy to leave or dissolve. Simply relinquish your arguments. All of our painful energies pretend to be of service to us, to be helping us in some way, and often without knowing it, we believe this, we believe the pain helps us. Without arguing with the pain energy, simply notice if it helps you in any way, if it serves you or the situation you are in. A simple noticing of futility of an energy field means that you no longer need to do anything about it, it naturally drops away.
The search for peace and happiness is one that many of us are carrying The mind creates a feeling of dissatisfaction, or of course dense painful energies, and the same mind then searches to be free from them. When you are searching for a natural feeling such as peace or emptiness, the search makes it seem that it is far off, achievable, distant. Relinquish searching for any sensation, or any experience other than the one that his currently here. You may have noticed that whenever peace comes up, it does so by itself, you don’t control it or demand it, it just emerges.
Don’t be a peace-hunter, be in equanimity, neutrality. The present experience already is the way it is, trying to change it in any way usually just keeps it in place, particularly if it is painful. Don’t act as if there is some other experience that you are being deprived of, don’t wish for some other experience. Forget time for a moment, forget the idea of a next experience. Then you may find the inner energies transforming themselves without you even needing them to. It is a paradox.
Don’t give the pain body so much respect. It certainly does not need to be fought or resisted, and does not even need to be dissolved. When you no longer need it to dissolve, it tends to dissolve far quicker. Again, a paradox.
I am aware that the pain can seem overwhelming, absolutely uncontrollable and quite insane. Notice the abundance of pain, that it also has abundance at its core. Marvel at the creation of it, of its seemingly inexhaustible nature. Approaching it this way helps transform it, rather than treating it as something that must leave you at some point before you can finally be at rest.
Let it be there, don't object. Even the mind trying to reassure itself that it is the pain body and not “me”, can be another avoidance - another attempt to escape this apparently tyrannical energy field. The less it is argued with, the less it can stay. From here it is easy to notice its futility, that it serves no useful purpose, and you may even find yourself laughing at the insanity of it all, and that it was never anything to do with you, it was just some strange energy that was believed in.
Just because the pain energy appears does not mean you are doing anything wrong. The whole trick is that the energy comes up, and then there is an inner contraction, the mind-made self says “I must do something to be free of this”. No longer approach the sensations or thoughts in a personal way. They are energy fluctuations that are quite out of control, so notice them in this way. They are abundant, chaotic, out of control, let them express themselves. There is an emptiness in which the energies play that is unaffected. The sense of being, the sense “I AM” which is not personal, remains the same, no matter what kind of energies are playing within it. You are this being, this sense of existence. The person who seems to be affected by the pain body is a mere appearance in the being, on which your existence is not dependent.
So the search to feel at peace is completely normal. It is our natural state, and we do all sorts of things to try to be at peace once more. But since it is the natural state, at some point we can recognise that our efforts to be at peace, must be coming from an unnatural place, or a false self. Notice whether or not your experience of searching for peace actually helps you to feel at peace. You may notice that the feeling of searching is itself the biggest disturbance, and if this is noticed, it drops by itself. Continue your practices if you enjoy them or find them helpful. If you don’t use them as a means to an end, let them take their way rather than trying to get something out of them, then time drops away, and you are at peace.
A final note is this: total acceptance or surrender means there is no longer anyone left to even have a problem with the pain. All hopes of it disappearing or being dissolved are dropped, and whether it stays or goes is no longer your problem or responsibility.
I hope this response has helped in some way. If it feels true for you, let the words guide, but if they do not resonate with you, discard them.
Comments for Accepting the Pain Body and Heart Centre Focus
(from previous website)
Jun 30, 2014
About accepting, NEW
by: Paul Blyth
Hi Adam, I get what you are saying, but I'm a bit confused. I may have mislead with the question. The time this peace often comes in as after a period of inner focus,It come quite naturally and its a practice I do each day whether experiencing the Pain Body or not. I have been allowing the Pain Body episodes come up as they do. What I was concern with there are times when a strong episode with the Pain Body will have me near the point of overwhelm. It is after it has eased considerably, I turn my attention inward to body and heart focus and again allow the peace wash over me, if and when it comes. I have a tendency to to keep looking for remnants of pain to deal with, as if I may have missed some by not allowing or accepting it all
So my question rephrased. By allowing this peace (when it comes) is this denial or a wanting to reject more of the negative Pain Body energy. Or should I accept this too as part of my total feeling experience
Jun 30, 2014
About accepting NEW
by: Adam - InnerPeaceNow.com
No, its fine, let it happen.
Jun 30, 2014
Thank You NEW
by: Paul Blyth
Adam, Thank you. I was so relieved to hear you simple comment, I cried. Allowing what happens as it happens feels like the right thing to.
So many spiritual practices I've tried have been involved with mission work, hunting down, seeking out or uncovering the source of the negative energy.
I become very mind aware and could easily identify areas in my life, way back to my childhood where the negativity had played out.The fears,resentment,shame and guilt, way back when.
I'd been seeking spiritual practice methods for the past 5 years and the only thing that seemed to strengthen was the intensity of the negative energy, I know this is due to being more mindful, which is a good thing. Before, I just accepted that I was a frightened, sad, failure and life sucked.
Trying to find the right practice that would give me relief, that was my quest (still is by the way)
A lot of resistance would come up and send me panicking for relief.
I began to feel that I may have been causing more harm than good.
He is how I was confused in spiritual practices.
Was I supposed to conger up the emotional pain so as to deal with it, by cathartic release?
Or was I supposed to move toward creating peace by pushing away any negative thoughts and feelings?
I found myself quite often in a mental tug of war as to what was the right thing to do,some times switching between the two.
I'd tried inner child work, I guess I may have been doing this all wrong. For me, most of that was to uncover old painful memories, in a bid to let them go. I did feel the benefit of giving love and attention to sooth my wounded inner child.
But I was confused as to who was feeling the pain.
I found it hard to take ownership,was this pain mine or mine as a child? To dis identify from this did it mean leaving my wounded child forgotten and all alone? My mind played many tricks with this one.
Iv'e only recently come back to inner body awareness practice through daily meditation, really looking to the source as an observer in my body as it is, right here right now.
Sitting quietly enough I have begun noticing the pure energy flowing in my body. Sometimes this energy is very turbulent and contains strong emotions of fear mixed with anger and resentment.
Other times this threatens to come up and suddenly a sense of peace comes in that leaves me feeling wow, that just happened.
More recently while meditating (mainly first thing in the mornings). I have gone from waking up feeling anxious to the sweetest moments of inner peace I can remember.I don't force this feeling or even think about it,other than to focus attention to the breath, breathing in and out through the center of my chest.
It doesn't always come but I'm now allowing it when it does.
As for the strong negative energy, I'm no longer going to fear it's arrival quite as much, just allow it to be there, best I can.
It's not mine anyways.
Things I have been doing that help are going for a long walk or allowing more time to relax under moments of stress.
Love and best wishes
Jul 01, 2014
All the best Paul NEW
by: Adam - InnerPeaceNow.com
Yes, no need to manipulate yourself.
All the best Paul, thanks for your question and comments.
Jul 02, 2014
A taste of Freedom NEW
by: Paul Blyth
Dear Adam, Today I had my first real taste of freedom from Pain Body with this simple realization that came to me. Nothing needs to be done with this. No action is required, no thought. Just stillness and awareness.
I felt the rising emotional energy as I had many times before.I sat very still and repeated to my self gently in a mantra as I consciously breathed.
"Nothing needs to be done"
With in minutes the energy subsided,I felt it melt away. Real acceptance is non reactive.
Ya! is all I can say and thank you yet again