I had a bad Christmas where my two sons dumped all their anger on me. They don't live here, they are two adults. Neither of them have been in touch since, no doubt they are getting on with their lives while I am struggling with mine. I am trying to live in the present - I have to let go knowing we are all ONE and let them find there own way HOME (inner journey), not easy but I am left with no other choice - or else go mad. Have just come across your website tonight and find it so inspiring. Thank you.
You’re welcome, thank you for words.
Try this: do not hold any concept of oneness, forgiveness, or present moment awareness. Do not hold anything. Don’t believe you should feel any particular way. Don’t act like you know anything, just for a moment. Be completely empty of all knowledge, judgement or speculation. Just for a moment.
Whatever is happening inside you, let it happen. If pain and past events come and call for your attention, this is fine, do not judge or resist. Simply allow, be open. Let the personal identity engage with its food of thought if it wishes, but you remain empty of any intention or concept.
As the inner turmoil may move around, you are somehow aware. You are aware of its presence, degree of intensity etc. How do you know? You must be beyond, original to these things. If you wish, you can allow your attention to rest more on yourself, the awareness, rather than the things you are aware of.
In this way your emotional suffering can be a kind of blessing in disguise, a way to move deeper into yourself.
In addition, if you find it hard to “let go”, it just means that something inside you loves to hold on. Do not take this tendency personally, just be aware that something inside loves to feel pain, loves to bring up the past, loves to make stories. Just being aware of this and its futility can be enough for you to break free from any recurring patterns, without making any effort to let go of anything.