Question:
Hi Adam
I have a question regarding when I get obsessive thoughts, or thoughts that I don't like about a person - I start thinking “oh no I don't like this, I don't like thinking this way, I am stuck like this, I want to get rid of this thought and way of thinking, I wish I was how I was before this happened in my life, why did this happen, I can't shake this feeling and I’m a loser for keep on thinking this way” and round and round it goes.
I want to be more involved In my life and getting on with my job and not fighting these thoughts that seemed to have got stuck in my head.
Thanks
MH
Response:
All of these voices in the head are not who you are. You need not take responsibility for any voice you can hear. Just hear it, passively, without resistance, without any judgement. Even if a thought feels strong and dense, it arises by itself, and is observed by you.
You are aware of all this happening – the thoughts, followed by judgement and resistance. All of this is just the mind’s play. Let it happen. The voice in the head is not who you are. It claims “I” and may feel very strong – but it is not what you are. You can not fight it, so give up. Only be an awareness to what happens. In the midst of inner turmoil, do not stand to fight any of it. Let it all come if it wants. Have no interest, take no responsibility. All of the inner turmoil arises in an untouched space, which is not a person. Let the person chat, you be aware of the space it all arises in.
The resistance and thoughts of “Oh no I don’t like this” etc is all just the mind speaking. It isn’t you speaking. If you only listen, you can hear the voice speak by itself, the person in the head with all of its opinions and judgements. As you let him speak without fighting him, it becomes naturally apparent that this voice is not what you are, and it loses its influence. You need not interfere with any thought process. Let it do its own thing.
Don’t look to the mind to give you any peace. The mind is confused, carrying baggage, believing that it is helping – it knows no better. Have compassion for the mind. Be peace itself – empty, spacious, not wanting anything to be different. The desire for the experience, thoughts etc. to be different is just another thought from the mind. Leave it to be, but do not identify with this desire.
You said yourself that you no longer wish to be fighting with these thoughts that have become stuck in your head. So stop fighting. Completely give up fighting. Surrender. Even if habitual fighting arises, surrender to this. Thoughts become stuck because of the fighting, and because of the interest that is given to them.
Don’t even call them “my thoughts”. Why be so interested in what creates so much trouble? I realise the thoughts call for attention and seem to demand interest, but if you can see that all thoughts are illusory, – that they are limited, transient, dream-like, often forming incorrect interpretations, claiming to represent truth, but in fact being completely separate creations to actual events or people – then your interest can leave them.
….Then thought is there when required eg. at work, but you do not take it seriously when it tries to take over the whole show.
It is more like a mental energy of a person visits you. The person won’t stop talking and creating drama, as if it is addicted to the circles of pain. When you take this visitor to be who you are, much suffering ensues, and it lives with you. If you can see it to be a visitor, which loves drama and past and future, which requires your identity, interest, resistance and belief for it to survive, then it will be easier to stop fighting. If you force the visitor to leave, it wants to stay with you, it loves the attention. If you have no preference whether it stay or go – it won’t have a reason to stay.
The suffering that all of this causes “me” is also observed. What suffers from all of this is also observed by you – is it not? Be clear – sit for a few minutes – the sense of irritation, frustration, sense of being stuck etc - you can witness the feeling. If you can witness it – is the witness affected? Can the awareness that you are, actually suffer? Is it a person? Is there a “you” separate from this original awareness?
Give attention to yourself, awareness. If only for a few minutes - don’t be bothered about what you can perceive. Pay attention to awareness itself – yourself. Awareness is not a thing, not an object. It never changes, it is never affected.
Leave the rest of the suffering to life. Life creates it – it is part of the moment – so let life deal with it.
Then life can flow easier, more spontaneously. Getting used to yourself as neutral awareness rather than a personal voice, will mean that thought naturally serves the moment – be it at work or any other situation, but thinking will not become a burden.
Hope that has helped somehow. If you have any follow-up questions, feel free to comment below.
Thanks for your contribution to the site,
Adam
Comments for Balance Between Awareness and Getting On With Life
(from previous website)
Jan 21, 2014
very strong
by: ieva
i think this was one of the best answers to questions sent to this site :) very very powerful, inspired, moving and wise.
Feb 11, 2014
GOOD
by: Anonymous
THANKS A LOT FOR THE RESPONSE
Feb 12, 2014
GREAT RESPONSE
by: doe
gREAT RESPONSE
Feb 13, 2014
_
by: Adam - InnerPeaceNow.com
Thanks for adding your comments to the site guys, glad it has been of some use.