by Chris
Question:
Hi Adam,
I had been having a very bad past few 2-3 years. The negativity that had triggered from an enmity/ego issue with a coworker had totally overcome my life. Yes I was initially unaware of my overthinking/painbody/ego etc. at those times. Though I had been under negativity and fear/anxiety whole my life from childhood, I did not want to be aware of it, and i thought it was shameful to have these feelings, though I was caged to fear.
My parents/friends/teachers also did not like my attitude towards life and I had the belief that yes it is obvious for them to think so. Nobody ever came with any proper guidance.
But then after the incidents (2-3 years) i had mentioned above , I tried positive thinking etc. but no use actually, then i found through internet regarding Eckhart Tolle, Jeff Foster and spiritual stuffs, Buddha's insight meditation, and also including your innerpeacenow web site regarding allowing fear, total acceptance etc. It was a relief to know it was all allowed in this world. It was of a great help. And I had also experienced release of blocked energies by simply sitting and allowing everything, and feeling of lighter body, forgiveness etc. few times. Even a vague memory of a painful childhood experience also actually just came up when a totally surrendered to all fears first time.
But negative things again come back strongly in form of thoughts, provocations, abuses etc. Also I think i also got up a lot in spiritual stuffs/enlightenment/awakening etc. too. Recently while walking in street i was feeling bad, fearful, overthinking about my life, job, being hopeless etc, suddenly fear just intensified when I saw a group of people who are not actually total strangers to me, probably kind of fight/flight response and somehow i managed to pass by, but felt ashamed to.
And now anxiety had intensified like hell, I am fearful of having these symptoms in front of people, and this actually occurs almost every time the thought comes in, it's very difficult to be aware unless i allow whatever to happen which I can't because of thoughts of being ashamed in front of others /stupid for making an imagination a reality, but I can't help.
Maybe there are many energies which needs to be released. Can I consciously bring those fears and allow them when i am sitting freely, will that increase the anxiety or will it take away some of energies?
I hope to have some advice. Sorry for the long question.
Response:
Ok, yes - you can allow them, invite them, that's fine, but they may feel worse at first. As the energy releases itself it intensifies and may feel it is taking over the cells of the body. It will pass in its own time, not yours. All these extra fears you are bringing up are not really you, it is just more mind stuff, more energies that feel as if they are who you are in truth. They are just more waves, more clouds saying "I am this", "I am that". Let them pass in their own time.
During a period like this, one can experience strange and intense suffering. Sometimes it is just part of the path, the old stuff becomes ejected, so let it be ejected by itself. Release your fascination with all of it or your attempts to fix it all yourself. Give it all back to Life, the intelligence and presence of existence.
If negativity or similar feelings come back strongly, then let them come. It is not your fault or responsibility that they come. They come to play and disturb. How much longer will they convince you that they are worthy of trust? They are like jokers wearing ugly masks.
Adam
Comments for Fear, Anxiety, Overthinking Energies
(from previous website)
Jun 17, 2015
On My Life NEW
by: Chris
I was the questioner , Thanks for reply Adam.
But Adam , currently if i am to be aware under anxiety situations (currently my anxiety mainly whether i get into this fearful shivering freeze response even in such a simple pass by incident.
My thoughts are all having big momentum, if i totally be aware i might have to allow the fear response also completely,this might be shameful or create further momentum of anxiety/shame etc.
Its like i am creating my own reality, though through fear i am actually intending (intention) these things helplessly. Its not possible to face them with total allowance directly unless i could release these past momentum and have some space in me.
Being kind of victim identity just out of fear whole my life and then thinking/acting to become strong/powerful had brought life to the point of helpless suffering.
I don't know how is to face fear fearlessly ,if life/people drags me to further cruelty/suffering in future(no one is to blame though) , i will have to witness it or what change can witnessing and awareness bring to me.
Life had not given me any money/poverty based problems, but a negative anxious and fearful mind who obviously lacks friends or family members to whom i could share my problems openly.Everyone and everything is there around but its all of no use because of my fears.
Thanks
Jun 18, 2015
Ok NEW
by: Adam - InnerPeaceNow.com
So if you feel you can't accept it, then accept that.
Let yourself feel resistive. It already is being allowed by the universe.
Stop conceptualising.
Whatever is playing out, including resistance - give up your interpretation of it, or see that the interpretation of "resistance" or "not allowing" is just more thoughts.
Jun 18, 2015
Thanks NEW
by: Chris
Thanks for reply Adam.
Will ask for guidance if any further confusions/conflicts arise.
Jun 20, 2015
What i feel NEW
by: Chris
Hi Adam,
I am holding a strong energy field of being a victim ,powerless and painbody out of it and attracting opposite painbodies that trigger mine .
Is it better to allow it to get worse if it get worse,I feel i need to know my true power because conditions are not going to change towards comforting me anymore and if it changes also i am not free.
Thanks