Strange Feeling Of Existence

by Nicola Smith


When I was younger, I would go into this state (I can't seem to do it now) and the state would make me realise I exist, this strange feeling would come over me, then as I became aware of the feeling, it disappeared. I wanted to know if you knew what this was? I have checked many sites and people have experienced it too, but they, like me have no idea what it is.



No I am not sure what you mean. If it felt as if your mind or sense of individuality merged into its source, where there was no longer thought or a sense of person, but rather a feeling of presence, being or awareness, then sometimes that is called Samadhi in Eastern teachings – intense absorption in the Self. Did the feeling disappear or was it more as if the thinking mind re-emerged, making it seem like the feeling disappeared?

Whatever it was has come and gone. You have been here to experience both the feeling and non-feeling. You may find it helpful to be aware of yourself as that in which the feeling/experience has come, gone, and may come again.

Other than that I can not find much else to say. I take you describing it as “strange” to mean it can not be described, all you were aware of is your own existence. The experience may return if you are aware that the “me” who enters this state and then comes out of it, is only a mental concept, rather than the reality of what you are.

Sorry I could not be of more help,


Comments for Strange Feeling

(from previous website)

Mar 18, 2014
Thank you 
by: Anonymous


Thank you for getting back to me, I have went on some sites that explain the Samadhi and it explained very much what use to happen to me years ago. It felt wonderful and massive as the universe, maybe more than (if that explains anything lol) 

It made sense when you mentioned that my thinking mind re-emerged, making it seem like the feeling disappeared, because I know it's still there, I just can't seem to experience it as I have gotten older as I obviously think more than as an adult than I did as a child. 

I do hope I experience it again, and yes, it is very difficult to describe and explain in words, I don't think there are any words for what I experienced, but, thank you, because it's an experience I can't seem to forget, and I always wanted to know what it was. Since you have put a name to it and I read what it meant, it really made a lot of sense to me, putting years of curiosity to rest. Thank you very much :)

Mar 19, 2014
Extra Comment 
by: Adam -

Thank you for your clarification. 

You already know what I am about to say, as you have eluded to it yourself - as years go on the sense of being a separate person and all past conditioning begins to seem to harden somewhat inside the mind, and so this samadhi is obscured by a person who claims to experience samadhi and then comes out of it. What happens in samadhi is just a dropping away of this illusory person, and your Self remains more obviously than when the mind is making noise. 

You probably felt as if this experience took place without your intention, without your effort. It is a relinquishment of past identity rather than something that can be "reached" by any personal effort. If you ever feel you make effort to reach this "place", be aware of the person making effort. This effort maker is the one who obscures the true Self, and then attempts to make effort to reach the Self. This entity is not real - it is the mind's illusion. The mind is the one that makes effort, and it is seen by you - the effortless awareness. You are that in which the effort maker and the one who wishes to have the experience, arises. 

If you remain surrendered and open, without demanding any experience like this, you may find it happening again. The paradox is that when the mind stops searching for anything, without expectation, these kind of experiences take place without the person's consent. 

Still there is an awareness in which both the indescribable experience and the mundane, noisy state of a person come and go. This awareness is here and now, and is who you are - beyond all experience. 

A valuable thing you could do is to look at the reality of this "I" that claims it had the experience and is now separate from it, no longer experiencing it. This "I" that lives in the body - is it real? What is it? What is it made of? Just quietly be aware. 

All of that being said, to have consciously experienced something like this is something that many are oblivious of, perhaps until the moment of physical death. Thanks for your contribution to the site. If this extra comment creates any confusion for you, just ignore it.