True Happiness?

by Abner San Diego
(Philippines)

Question:

My Girlfriend and I just broke up. Actually she cheated on me while we are in the middle of life's struggle. Our relationship went rocky and this guy came in and took advantage of the situation. I asked my girl why, she told me that she is no longer happy and now she is happy with this new guy's attention which I lack off due to some health issue that I am in and out of the hospital. Is it true happiness what she is feeling right now, or just happy because she can do whatever she wants to and perhaps overwhelmed with the attention of the guy she's getting?

Now she is getting cold shoulder treatment from her family because of what she did.

Response:

I don't know what I can say, since I don't know her. What is true happiness? Does this mean a happiness which is not dependent on anything? Is there such a thing as "true" happiness as opposed to "false happiness"?

The general definition seems to be that if something or someone makes you happy, then this thing changing or being taken away can make you feel sad. So then people say it was not true happiness. Perhaps the happiness is real, but is experienced because we let it happen, we believe that things must be a certain way so that we can feel safe, relaxed or happy, and so happiness is felt in our own allowance. When things are as we want them we are no longer picking holes in life or complaining about things, and a natural happiness is there. This feeling tends to become masked by resistance or negativity if circumstances do not seem to conform to our expectations.

For me to comment on the situation or anyone within it would not be fair, since I haven't a clue about any of it, other than what you have told me in your message. Sorry I can not actually answer your question.

Thanks for your message,

Adam