Trying To Get Better

by MH


Hi Adam,

I am struggling with trying to use so many techniques to "get better". As you know from a previous question I was really ill due to a stress related illness and still continue to suffer. I just want things to be different from how they are all the time and am depressed and anxious and also struggle with sleeping due to the constant rumination (repetitive negative thinking). I just want to get away from thoughts and pay them no attention but they are such a distraction when I am feeling this way.




I wonder what techniques are you using? Give yourself a break from them.

When you use getting better or feeling better as an aim to any kind of inner technique/meditation, then you remain stuck in the idea of time, of self, and heighten the sense that there is something wrong that you have the power to manipulate.

What if, as an experiment, someone said to you that there is absolutely no chance that your experience will improve? That it is no use trying to change or feel better, because this is the way it will always be, and you can’t do anything about it? If you believed this, sincerely, then how would you feel? Please try this as an experiment. 

At first you may feel worse, but then you may realise that this will simply not change at all, so what else is there to do but stop fighting all of it? Perhaps you could drop hoping to feel better?

If your underlying expectation is always to feel better, to feel differently, then there is no real acceptance, since it is all based on resistance. And yet, even this underlying resistance takes place in a space that is already surrendered to what is.

When you think you have the personal power to change how you feel, then you will always be very interested in suffering, as if it is your responsibility to rearrange you inner state to become pleasant again. If you experiment with the inevitability scenario I mentioned above, then you may find that the level of interest in suffering begins to weaken.

I do not want to speculate further about anything happening, because I do not wish to attach your mind to something other than what is, since for you this seems to be creating a conflict, the hope for better creates a resistance to Now.

The final thing to mention, which I may have mentioned before, is that the trouble is not so much the thoughts, feelings, depression etc, but the entity inside that feels as if he is suffering all of it. The one that finds it hard to not resist, finds it hard to not suffer, finds it quite impossible to be silent, and has written the message in another attempt to feel better. Most people assume that this entity is real, is who you are, but what is it? Does it have any reality? Do you actually have a self, a person inside the body? Is it real? Who are you?

If any answer comes up, then can you possibly be that either? Can you be anything that comes and goes?

Comments for Trying To Get Better

(from previous website)

Oct 10, 2014
quote NEW
by: Theo

Do you experience suffering or you are suffering your experience...?

Oct 14, 2014
Nothing can be done with the mind NEW
by: Ben

Mind cannot solve the issues, so all techniques or concepts which are all mind level is of no use. 

So the solution is to realize 'nothing can be done' ,problems are all mind made and mind itself is now looking for solutions. So there is no choices except trying and failing techniques from mind level. Mind is all past so dont except new never tried magical solutions from mind

Nothing can be done but to be aware of thoughts,anxiety,stress etc without any choice and a higher intelligence starts healing you.

Oct 15, 2014
Perspective NEW
by: Nicola

Another way to look at it as well is no one brings unhappiness, anxiety, anger, hurt on themselves. We don't choose negative or unpleasant emotions. They come and they go. 

I know from my own experience that it's difficult to just accept these unpleasant emotions at the time, because we have become so used to the conditioning and the idea that we somehow can change them. But we can't! And what you are feeling will pass. It has for me and it has for others. . . but then, it's the story we tell ourselves, you know - the thoughts about will it come back again? And when it does, we think we have brought it back on ourselves. All of this to me is not true. 

I never plan when to get ill, I never schedule a time to worry, feel sad, become anxious and feel horrible. All I ever notice is they come and they go, just exactly like when I feel okay and having a good day. I never have any idea why I feel okay, but I do have these days. It's when I start analysing these moods, these feelings, these thoughts that I bring the illusion on myself and end up suffering by believing that I am controlling or bringing them on myself. 

What I have noticed is there is no thinker (because that's just another thought), there is no controller, and there is certainly no mood changer. 
All of it comes and goes and who you really are is the on who sees all this coming and going! So watch without the story telling, and if the story comes, if you can, try watch that too. 
The only way you are going to change your perspective is how you look at things rather than believing what you think they are. Hope this helps :-)

Oct 21, 2014
Thanks NEW
by: Adam -

Thanks for your comments guys, hopefully they will help whoever comes across them

Oct 24, 2014
thanks NEW
by: MH

i much appreciate you taking the time to comment on this. Yesterday I was in a good place, today so far is not so good, my mind is judging this, it feels fearful that it is stuck, but i know its just another story. you are so right when you say a problem of the mind cant be solved on the same level. Expanding and staying aware and present is my only 'technique' to practice from now on and with no expectations....