by Ben
Question:
Hi Adam,
I had a very long term bad experience with/negativity from a person at my workplace, it was so difficult to be near him and to maintain peace, it had created a lot of trouble (mentally) to me and maybe him, too. Finally I thought there is no way to maintain peace this way (I could not surrender more), so I was forced to take an action myself and asked my supervisors to give me a different place to sit and work - not like any complaint, I told them it might be just my thoughts, but would like to have a seat/position change.
But there were still thoughts coming back. For some time I tried to accept those thoughts and emotions completely and I even felt like some sensation or movements from left side of my head to heart to feet after consciously observing it, and I felt such coolness and lightness in my body after a long time. At that moment I had total forgiveness to everyone and it felt peaceful. It feels like something is released from my body.
But these thoughts come back again. Should I just accept it as is it coming to be fully released without getting drawn into thoughts? Sometime these thoughts create headaches. Please advice.
Thanks
Response:
Hi. To answer the question of the title directly: do nothing. Have you ever tried this? It is not even something you can try or do, but how else to say it? Have you ever let yourself do absolutely nothing about this trouble that comes? To not feel as if you need to manage it, catch it, analyse it or get rid of it? We assume the result is that it will get worse and stay. It may get worse at first, but it will not stay. Stay with who?
What you described was great. When the thoughts come back again, they can trick you into thinking you may be doing something wrong, and they regain all of your precious attention. Since resistance has arisen again, it feels as if there is trouble. Don't resist resistance. Stay as you are, your approach is fine.
To answer your question of your final paragraph directly: Yes. See that Life is already allowing it, it is already being accepted by the moment. And yes, as some old patterns are leaving the body/mind, they may actually be felt to be more intense. But don't be fooled, don't believe you are doing something wrong or need to do something more. Let them be, they will pass, and will pass quicker if you lose your concern over them. Any concern about anything will keep your object of concern there for longer, since you are feeding it with energy.
These kind of thought patterns stay longer if they can create trouble. If you don't give them such importance (even though they claim to be important), if you give up reacting to them, if you give up trying to do anything to deal with them, then they will lose power. You have noticed that they arise by themselves, like waves, and so if you attempt to handle them or manage them, you end up getting tangled up in them. If they arise by themselves, they are not yours to get rid of. Leave them alone. You may reach a point where you just can't be bothered to hold them with your interest anymore, and when this lack of interest is there, they lose energy.
A good anchor for attention can be the simple, involuntary breath, or the simple, intuitive feeling of being, of existence - the space of Life in which all else plays.
Don't try to reach that same point of peace or lightness. It may come again, but if you are striving to get to some different experience to the one that seems to be there now, then there is more conflict and suffering. Drop any ideas of an "ideal" experience. Then you can relax.
These kind of thoughts may have some past momentum, they are nothing to worry about. The biggest trouble can be experienced when we feel as if we are very attached to thoughts and feelings, as if we are personally creating them and then suffering them. Who is suffering here? Who gets drawn into thought? Is the body suffering the thoughts or the headaches? Is awareness suffering? Can the sufferer be located? These may be helpful questions, which may be easier to look into when the pain is not at peak levels.
These kind of experiences or thoughts are not enemies, they just highlight the limitations of the personal mind. If you let them play, you may naturally become aware of the larger space of Life that allows them, but does not suffer them.
Hope that helps, comment below if you wish to ask anything else...
Adam
Comments for What To Do When Past Experience Creates Anxious Thoughts And Headaches?
(from previous website)
Sep 14, 2014
this is definitely the way out of suffering
by: Max
....anything we resist just persists, Adam is right without our energy these thoughts and feelings are nothing..
Sep 14, 2014
Yes i get it
by: Ben
Thank You Adam and other users.
Even though this life situation was kind of a huge suffering for me (for the mind and thoughts i am provided or conditioned) , this had definitely given some limited understanding/possibilities of 'there are things beyond mind'.
Nowadays i am able to have some insight into how my mind / thoughts creates suffering for me (not just this particular life situation ),which sometimes i am able to allow it to play in background.
Especially a particular type of thought pattern my mind had been doing all my life , for eg my mind might complain 'you have to do that' and at the same time it says 'don't do that it would create problems' , it seems that whatever/whether i do an action or simply drop it and do nothing its all the same ,ie if i simply sit ,it will complain you are not doing anything, and if i start to do it creates anxiety and starts telling dont do .
This seems to give me an insight into the mind / thought patterns and allowing dropping resistance for certain thoughts. Mind even tells if you were not having this particular life situation it would have been more easier for me to be mindfull/conscious without such pain :).
Thanks
Sep 14, 2014
Thanks
by: Ben
Thanks Adam
Your response would certainly help me in being more conscious to the thoughts , pain, and conditioned resistances.