I have been struggling over the last few weeks, as I have not received multiple financial payments (mainly from work) that have been owed to me. Some of this money was needed to go out on bills and I have consequently incurred a couple of late payment fees. I wonder if you have any advice for coping during a waiting period such as this, I have found it hard not to get frustrated, worried, desperate, and certainly have felt a ‘lacking’ as I stare at a bank balance that doesn’t balance at all.
So the main problem is not the money. You aren't asking me how to get more money or how to make the payments come in - you just want to feel better (which may influence how easily the payments come in). This may sound like a grand assumption, but I will go with it and you can always correct me if you wish...
There is nothing wrong with these feelings in themselves. What makes them seem worse and remain strong could be said to be 2 things:
1) Resistance to them
They are not what we call pleasant feelings, and so they are somehow resisted. You say you find it hard not to feel a certain way, which could indicate that you are trying to feel a certain way. Don’t put controls on yourself. Don’t have an ideal inner state. Feelings are not your own. They come and go like waves or clouds.
Also there is always a running theme of "abundance" and "feeling abundant" in spirituality, and so if someone feels lacking, they may think this is "wrong". It is not wrong, who is to say any feelings like this are wrong or bad? If you allowed desperation, worry or anything else, without wishing it were not there, then it would not survive in you for very long. If you absolutely stopped trying to feel differently, then these feelings could not terrorise.
Notice the abundance of all of these feelings, the abundance of worry, lack and desperation. If you notice their overflowing nature, without calling them anything, then they will be transformed. It also shifts the base from lack to abundance, as you notice the sheer abundance of misery!
2) Belief that these feelings help
Part of conditioning is to react to undesirable situations in negative ways. It seems natural to worry about money if you appear to not have enough, or to be disturbed by something that society would deem "bad". But does the worry, desperation or feeling lack about money help you get more money? Does worrying about it make the payment come quicker? If you notice that whilst these feelings are in the body/mind, that although they claim to be of use, of benefit - they are actually futile - then they will not cause such disturbance. They will fade away. If anything, you can see that they are counter-productive, they just waste mental energy and lower the vibration. You don’t have to fight these reactions or feelings, but simply enquire into how much they benefit the situation.
"I can’t help but worry about it" is one of the biggest tricks the mind has. As if worry is useful, or helpful. Really it just perpetuates undesirable situations, and cements the mind-made self - the person who is worried, separate from and untrusting of Life.
We are often taught that worry is justified, or it shows you care about things or are being responsible for your life. None of this is true. Worry is a truly useless activity. Enquire into this. If you see this for your self, you will always be worry-free. If you disagree, and think worry or feeling desperate or frustrated helps you, it just means they will probably live on for a bit - which isn't necessarily a "bad" thing either.
The last thing to say, is who is all of this trouble affecting? Who is it for? Can you locate the victim of this? Take a moment to actually locate the foundation of this trouble, the victim within, the person who feels troubled by all of this. Can they be found? If you don’t avoid this question, but let it sink in, you may be surprised.