Controlling Things With Your Mind

Can you control a situation with your mind?

Recently I was speaking with someone who was becoming stressed over a situation. A good thing was about to happen, it seemed as if it was all going to go smoothly, and then a very slight hiccup suggested that it was not yet in the bag, it was not yet a certain, done deal.

It was about buying a property. One had come up, they loved it, they wanted to buy it. A possible miscommunication, or a mistaken estate agent meant that the amount of money they offered was not enough, and someone else had put in an offer at the same time.

So for a day or so, this woman had a dark cloud in her mind. She felt as if she had made a mistake, let down the owner who she was representing. If only she had offered higher to try to secure the property - she could have - but she didn’t - and now they might lose out.

No amount of talking to yourself tends to help. Sometimes it does, but it is rare. Trying to talk yourself out of a mood, or a madness, or a regret, or anything else, is usually based in conflict. You do not want to feel a certain way, so another side of your mind argues with the part that is creating a fuss. And the cycle repeats.

There were two main points that we touched on.

1. Let Yourself Feel

The first was to let yourself feel annoyed, or regretful, or worried, or anything else. Without even labelling it as anything, to just release the argument with yourself, or with your experience. Of course things could be said such as “Nothing has even happened yet,” “You don’t know what will happen,” “What will be will be,” - but really, you just have to stop trying to control what is going on in a rebellious or resistive mind.

2. Can You Control It With Your Mind?

And then, after trying a few different things, I felt strongly like saying:

“Do you think you can control this situation with your mind?"

“No,” was the answer I got from her.

“Are you sure?” I asked again.

“Well…no. Perhaps a bit,” she replied.

“How?” I asked. How did she think she could control the situation?

“Well, I feel like me and the current owner would get along well. I want to send her some good vibes.”

“Ok,” I said.

And that was it. From there we knew what she wanted. We knew what she was trying to achieve from the use of her mind around all of this.

“So,” I said. “Does all of this stuff in your mind, all these voices saying you have let someone down, that you have made a mistake - do they help you send out any good vibes?”

Laughs. “No,” she replied.

“Do they help you secure the house?”


“Do they help you in any way? Do they make life better for anyone, in any form?”

Smiles. “No.”

“Ok then,” I said. 

“They are going now,” she said, referring to her painful, obsessive thoughts.


“They don’t want to. They are saying: ‘Yes, but…’”

“And that’s ok,” I said. “That is absolutely fine. They can be themselves, let them be themselves. But do they help you?”


“Do they get you the property?”


And there was silence for a while as she allowed herself to naturally let go, without trying to let go. All it took was to see what she wanted from the situation, and whether or not these voices and feelings were helping her to get what she wanted.

“Thank you,” she said after a while, and she looked completely different, like a weight was no longer pulling down on her face.

Try It Yourself

You can try the same. Be alone, be still. Let intuition come through. Look into what is troubling you, sense it energetically, and simply ask the question - is this helping me to get what I want? Noticing futility tends to weaken inner troubles, without any extra effort. Their strength was based on the belief that they were helping you.

When speaking with others to resolve issues, I can rarely ever rely on a plan or a formula. The right word or question seems to come when I am at my most empty, without relying on past sessions or conversations. If you leave a gap, power can come through. It ignites your thoughts, it does the work for you.

So many of our inner issues stay alive, because unconsciously, we believe that they are helpful. We often feel that feeling bad is a signal to the universe to change the situation into something nicer. But if you are sending out dense vibes, then how can you expect to get anything other than that?

If you would like help going over anything internally, I am always available for one-to-one guidance sessions over Skype.

All the best,