Do We Attract Everything?

Question:

Hi Adam,

Thank you for providing a wonderful site.

I was wondering if negative situations keep repeating over and over again, am I the one who keeps attracting them? For example people being mean...

Response:

If something keeps repeating over and over again, then perhaps there is something within you it is highlighting. Do you feel you have a strong negative reaction to what happens? Do you find yourself resisting it a lot?

If a similar thing keeps repeating itself over and over, it is useful to look at your reaction to it. If the thing is avoidable, then you may wish to avoid it e.g. not remaining friends with an unpleasant person. But if it is quite unavoidable, and seems to be happening all by itself, then it may be highlighting something within you, or possibly even reflecting your own attitudes about yourself back towards you.

You will have to be honest, and perhaps remain for a while with your feelings. There may be hidden voices or attitudes that you identify with, which you didn't even know were there. Once they are recognised, if at all, allow them to be there, but question if they are really true. Question any belief that seems to feel very sure or certain. Can you know it is true for sure?

It may just be feelings rather than thoughts, unpleasant or fearful feelings. Let them be there as well. Be a space for them. Once you notice that these feelings are mainly just hurting yourself more than anything else, it will be easier to let them go. Notice that they do not prevent the "negative" thing from happening.

Are you mean to yourself? Do you mentally abuse yourself? Or rather, does the mind split itself into different parts, and beat itself up? Do you have ill-feelings towards others that you do not voice? Those can be useful questions to ask.

Please feel free to comment below if you would like to continue this a bit, let me know if any of that resonates. The more specific you are, the more specific I can be.

Thanks for getting in touch,

Adam