Finding Yourself

The term "finding yourself" seems to be quite a cliche.  Surely you already are yourself, so in truth, is there anything you really need to find?

No Time To Find Yourself

The term finding yourself implies time, implies distance between you and yourself.  You are only now, you can not be found by going anywhere else or taking a journey deep within.  Even this journey deep within happens inside yourself, within awareness.

If you are trying to "find yourself" or "searching for enlightenment", how do you know this?  How are you able to say you are on some kind of inward journey?  You can say it because something is aware that all of this is going on.  This awareness is who you are.  It is already there, observing everything.

This awareness is so subtle and so one with who you are that it can easily be missed.

Even as you find yourself becoming more conscious and more free, more at peace and full of joy, is there not something that is aware of all of this?

This constant awareness is "the true self", and is always here.  Even if you feel as if you are strongly identified with ego, there is something that is perceiving this feeling of "I am identified with ego".  Nothing has to be done except to simply bethis awareness - which you already are.

Every movement of your body, every thought, emotion, pain, trouble, sense of peace or joy that arises, all arises within awareness.  You are aware of all of this happening, and you are unaffected! 

You are so beyond any sense of individuality, personality or physicality that it may seem a shock to realise your truth.  The body and personality will still exist and play out, but you do not have to identify or involve yourself.  You can just watch.

Even "Finding Yourself' Takes Place in Awareness

Of course there is nothing wrong with spiritual practice or a sense of "seeking", but what you are is already here, observing all of this.  

Who you are observes the person searching for freedom.  In this way finding yourself is far easier than we may think, since the false identity can seem so strong.  You simply witness this false identity (or "ego"), without trying to diminish it.  As the witness, the unreal diminishes by itself.

Yoga, Satsang, Meditation etc. are all very enjoyable, and all occur within awareness.  The one doing anything is observed in your presence.  

You are yourself.  The one who does not feel as if it is fully itself yet, the one that is trying to find itself is the thing that is not real.  It is just another object in your awareness.  Finding yourself requires no mental effort.  This effort takes you away, as if you are not already yourself.

You Are Already Free

Just because you still perceive thoughts and reactions to your "external experience", it does not mean you have not yet found yourself.  You are being yourself if you can simply witness all of it without identifying with thought or reaction. 

"Realization consists of getting rid of the false idea that one is not realised." ~ Sri Ramana Maharshi

The presence of thought, reaction or even identification does not matter.  You must stay as simple awareness, not resisting or identifying with thoughts and reactions in the body.  They are bound to arise sometimes, and particularly as you first begin to step into awareness - since your past conditioning is being burnt up and released.

Do not be troubled by any emotional pain or suffering that still comes up.  It is just the old stuff coming out, the rubbish being burnt.  These things must arise so that you can transcend them and not identify.  How else will they leave you if you do not let them dissolve through your conscious presence?  Let them arise and let them go when they want.

We have an idea that after finding yourself you must have no thought, no painful emotion arising.  Actually, being yourself simply means you can witness all of these things without identification.  

Of course thoughts, emotions, reactions etc. will weaken and disappear as you continue to remain as awareness, but the awareness does not mind whether these things are there or not, since it is not identified.  

Be yourself now - the awareness in which all things arise.