Dealing With Stress
Recently during a one-to-one session, someone asked me how to deal with stress. A technique came up that was quite effective, and I hope it can help anyone here who is dealing with anything similar.
1. Write out the discomfort
The first thing to mention (which was not mentioned during the one-to-one) is that it often helps to just write out your feelings. Write down what you are stressed or worried about. Sometimes we keep worries in our minds because we are afraid of forgetting about something that we think needs to be fixed. If you put it down on paper, you can rest assured that it is always there to be looked at again if needed. If you have the intention of feeling better - writing down any stresses or worries gives you permission to let them go, at least for a while.
2. What is the opposite?
During the one-to-one call, I said to the person:
“You know how stress feels. Now what is the opposite of stress, for you?
“Feel for what the answer is in your body, as if you are asking the question within. Then see what the response is.”
I was expecting the person to give a word like “ease” or “calm” or “joy”, but they didn’t. They just smiled and said it was a certain sensation. And they could feel it.
This person felt “the opposite of stress” begin to grow in their system, and this lasted for about a minute.
Then it stopped. Then the stress came back.
So we repeated the process, in an easy, light way. “I know how stress feels. So what is the opposite of stress?”
This time it didn’t work at all. The stress remained. The person told me they could no longer feel the “wonderful state” that they were beginning to feel before.
3. What are you loyal to?
Then I asked the question: “How would you feel if you could make the ‘wonderful state’ more important than the reasons to be stressed?”
The person asked me to repeat this.
“How would you feel if you could make the ‘wonderful state’ more important than the reasons to be stressed?”
Then we started to see some good results. Things started to shift.
Stresses and worries tend to take precedent over any calm or relaxed state, because they are responses to perceived dangers. The painful thoughts think that they are helping to resolve a situation and keep us safe. But we all know that whenever there is a truly challenging situation that arises, the person who is clear and calm is able to function most fluidly and clearly using their instinct. Even if they feel fear or stress, it is the one who is not completely taken over by these feelings who usually responds best to stressful situations. They are not fighting against themselves or their feelings, so they just respond if needed.
Therefore it is useful to see where our allegiance lies. Where our faith lies, where our loyalty lies. If you use the process above, even for ten minutes, during that ten minutes it is helpful to decide that you will be completely faithful and loyal to the ‘wonderful state’, the opposite of stress, as if it is your chosen partner and you are in a committed relationship with it. If you are disloyal and cheat on the relaxed or wonderful state, then you will be mixing with denser energies, having mental relationships with thoughts that don’t actually serve you in the way they think they do in that moment.
I’m not saying you have to walk around in this state all the time. You don’t have to do anything. But as a tool for relieving stress, if that is what you want, then I invite you to sit or lie down somewhere safe and comfortable, and go through the simple process above. I hope it helps.
All the best,
Adam Oakley
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