This article is just to remind you that you don’t have to be hard on yourself. There can be so much talk about silence of mind, peace, positivity, no negativity, that we can fight against ourselves even more if we experience anything less than pleasant.
We can often hold an idea of what a spiritual person should be like. We can believe we know how they feel in certain situations, how they act, what they would do or not do.
But we don’t know. Even the most peaceful have been known to have outbursts of rage. Whether it’s a story of Ramana Maharshi scolding someone, or even Jesus Christ throwing over the trading tables in the temple, the thing about the enlightened is that they are quite unpredictable.
Notice if you are still trying to be a certain way through any kind of spiritual or peaceful path. Trying to reject your dark side and wishing you were more in the light doesn’t work very well. Instead, embrace your dark side and let it be illumined.
Judging your own thoughts and emotions just leads to more mental states that we can feel trapped in. Not knowing how you should feel, not needing an idea for yourself related to your own thoughts, is what can start to free you.
Notice the shift that occurs when you aren’t trying to be like anyone else, and you aren’t trying to be the perfect version of a person that the mind presents. Suddenly you can become more natural, more authentic, and can more easily tap into the source of all useful and compassionate action.
The further you go into your personality to find completion or wholeness, the more cut-off you might feel. Instead, let your personality be on the surface, and let the deeper stillness express through it.
To get more in touch with that stillness, just stop fighting against your personality, stop expecting yourself to be a perfect person with a perfect experience, and let your attention relax.
Instead of looking to yourself to decide how you should think, feel or act, a more powerful question, if it resonates for you, is: “How does the universe want me to think, feel or act?”
If you ask this question openly, you might feel yourself start to be absolved from any heaviness of trying to control your inner state, and something deeper takes over, more effectively.
Hope that can help, speak to you soon,