Healing The Defence Mechanism
Any trace of anxiety, worry, tension, constriction or inhibition when it comes to social situations, is all an attempt to keep yourself safe. It is the mind’s attempt to keep its own identify alive, protected, not destroyed by other people’s words or actions.
Approach any anxiety or sense of “closing down” in this way, seeing it all as a defence mechanism, an attempt to keep you safe.
Social situations can seem scary to the mind, because it has become so accustomed to defining itself based on other people’s perceptions. If it is used to doing this, it is no surprise that it is scared of being judged in any negative way. If it is judged to be bad or not enough, the mind assumes this must be the truth.
If you feel any anxiety around social situations, rather than assuming these restrictive sensations are bad, or shouldn’t be there, notice that they are defence mechanisms.
Would you ever be greatly upset with something that is trying to keep you safe? Whether it actually does keep you safe is a different matter. Notice it is trying.
If you approach your feelings in this way, things start to soften. An element of forgiveness comes in. With forgiveness comes presence, some relaxation, and a gradually healing relationship with the appearances of your mind and body.
Relationship is everything. If there is conflict with anxiety, then you feel a victim. If there is forgiveness, a realisation that it is trying to keep you safe, then suddenly you are bigger than the anxiety, and perhaps the anxiety doesn’t require your conflict anymore.
If you notice it is a defence mechanism, and can be comfortable with that, you will begin to see through it and notice that it is not defending anything of value. It is just defending an idea of self that wants to maintain its barriers and keep itself cut off and isolated from everything else.
I could go on and on, but the takeaway message this week is this:
If anxiety or anything similar comes along – notice it is trying to protect you. Thank it for that, and you will see for yourself how it reacts.
Perhaps more on this soon. Let me know if this helped!
All the best,