Talking Yourself Out...

The one “danger” of spiritual or self-help material is that it creates further conditioning and expectations for us. The mind says the goal is to be happy, free and at peace, so when a load of suffering arises, we get into deeper trouble.

“Yeh, but I shouldn’t be upset about this”, or “why I am I so angry - it doesn’t even matter” or “why can’t I stop resisting this stuff”, or “I should just stop feeling down and instead be more tolerant”…

…how often does this self-talk actually help? Does it not just make things worse?

Withdraw judgement from your present experience. Let it be as it is. Even if you are full of hostility or resentment, trying to talk yourself out of it or analyse it is just another form of resistance, which not only keeps the initial feelings buried, but creates new ones to conflict with them!

Since the mind is averse to suffering, when it creates suffering, it tries to avoid it. This can often occur through complete denial of the experience, trying to talk “myself” out of it logically or rationally, or just indulging in some distraction to take the focus off the pain. 

Instead of all this crazyness, just stop arguing with your present experience. Even if it is painful, don’t push it away or run from it. This just creates more pain. Be with what is, without wishing it were some other way. Then what happens?