Question:

Hi Adam,

How do I deal with a toxic family member? It seems this person is always mean to me and will ignore me. Please help.

Response:

Hi, I tried to email you back but the email address you gave did not seem to work…

Toxic energies

Does Resistance Help You?

If the above feels impossible, then I don't know what else to say.

See if your resstance helps you. See if it empowers you. Just notice whether it does or not. You don't have to change it.

Wanting Something

Do you feel as if you want anything from them?

If you want something from another person - such as love, validation, approval or security, then naturally your attention will feel attached ot them and very much a victim of how they act.

If you don't want anything from anyone, particularly in this case emotionally, then you are free.

It Is Not Your Fault

Something else to mention is that you may feel as if them being in a negative state is your fault. As if you are the cause of it. You haven't given them any negative feelings and then put them inside of the person, so it is not your issue. If they communicate something to you about how you may be upsetting them, then perhaps this is something to discuss, but you are not responsible for their thoughts and emotions. So don't try to be.

I recorded a few thoughts about this that you can listen to here:

You can also check out this page on how to deal with negative family members.

There is also this page on the same topic.

Also this page.

Hope that can help,

Adam