Question:
Is reluctance to do some activity a signal from my inner being?
I have lots of moments of deep reluctance to do some activity. Take, for example, my blog writing. Or housework. Or exercise. At other times, there seems to be a willingness to do the same things. So I feel it's not the activity per se I am not ready to do. But I can't understand why I have these times of deep reluctance.
It often makes it impossible for me to rely on myself to complete things I should, for my own health and well being, and that of my family. I am only able to do things when there is some readiness to do it, and I have no clue why there is this reluctance sometimes, and a readiness at other times.
The best I am able to do is to let the reluctant moments pass - watch them and let them go. And then do any activity I feel willing to do.
What is this all about? I want to understand why this happens and how to deal with it.
I have been a meditator for nearly 35 years, and I have a feeling this reluctance maybe some kind of inner message, but I am not able to understand its dynamics.
Could you help me?
Response:
Usually it's because of one of two things. Sometimes both. Either you have some resistance that doesn't allow the energy to flow easily to do a task, or it's simply not as necessary as you think it is to that particular task at that moment.
Sometimes it isn't easy to tell which one of these it is - is it my own resistance blocking the energy, or is it simply not the right time to do this right now?
The only thing I could suggest is to approach it from an emotional level first. How do you feel in the moment? If you feel overwhelmed, unhappy, stressed or even slightly miserable, then everything will seem like hard work. If you begin to care more about your inner state and how you feel, caring more about that than the tasks you need to do, you might actually find everything becoming easier. If happiness takes priority over your to-do list, then your to-do list loses its power to drag you down emotionally and carry any resistance. There is a chance that you still won't do anything, but there is also a chance that the resistance will pass sooner, and you will be easier accessed by inspiration, by an intelligence deeper than the everyday thinking mind.
What you are currently doing seems to be helping - allowing the reluctant moments to pass and carrying on with whatever you feel like doing, taking the path of least resistance. This will probably work better and better for you the more you start to allow and trust it, and make your own sense of peace or happiness even more important than the task you are doing.
Of course some tasks have been conditioned into us to feel like effort in their very nature. Exercise, for some, is hard work and tiring. Other people make it easy, enjoyable, and they gradually build it up and become stronger and stronger over time. Perhaps you don't have to vacuum the whole house at once. Perhaps just vacuum one room, if you feel like it, and then you have already allowed the flow of energy to increase. You might end up doing more, but it often helps to make things as easy as possible on yourself, since with ease, there is less resistance. With less resistance, there is more energy allowed to flow.
““Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.””
A final tip is to pre-pave your tasks with a soft intention. This might help, or you might not need it. For example, instead of saying "Now I need to do the housework", you can sit and write and focus on for a few minutes: "I would love to enjoy this day and everything I do. Surely it is possible to enjoy housework. How would it feel to enjoy housework? I would like to enjoy the housework and appreciate my home in the process." This kind of focus puts you in a different energy where you are prioritising joy, and actually setting yourself up for greater success. Play with it and see how it goes.
It should all be a play. Because when you play, things are lighter and easier.
Hope that helps,
Adam