Often our self-created suffering can persist, because we believe it helps us. It may not feel good to worry about something, but surely the situation calls for it? It may not feel good to be angry for days on end about a particular event, but how is it possible to not be angry about it? It may not feel good not be regretting a certain action or non-action, but surely the situation calls for it?
When we become caught in spirals of anger, worry, resentment, regret etc., it is usually because secretly, we believe our suffering will get us what we want. We often get taught it, usually by example. When someone has not got what they want, they become upset. Surely there must be a reason for this? Surely the whole world, your parents and family can not all be crazy? Their upset must be for a reason, it surely must help matters.
You maybe can notice in yourself, that suffering is operating in an attempt to get what you want, or avoid what you don’t want. Wanting or not wanting things is not even the issue here, it is the belief that suffering will somehow create circumstances that are pleasing to how you think they should be.
See if the suffering, as it rises, helps get what you want. Don’t try to get rid of it, just see if it helps create the ideal scenario. Does it help? Does it make things worse? Does it make absolutely no difference?
Photo above by See-ming Lee on Flickr