Forgiveness Is Freedom
So many of our mental habits can often do us more harm than good. Holding on to resentments, worrying about the future, resisting a current situation – all of these things tend to lock our attention into something undesirable, feeling stuck in it, struggling to fix what we don’t want, yet feeling evermore entangled.
Notice if there is any part of you that secretly seems to enjoy feeling bad, in any way. There might be a worry, an unforgiveness, perhaps a cloud of depression over something not being the way you want it to be. If you notice that there is something inside that seems to want to draw your attention into feeling bad, that is the first step to freedom.
Unforgiveness is a way to try to stop something equally bad happening in the future. We don’t want to be wronged again, and holding on to hostility is often a way we are taught to try to resolve the situation, or hold the other person accountable so that they won’t do it again.
In reality, holding on to resentments might not affect the other person at all. We are the ones that are carrying the load, punishing ourselves for someone else’s unconscious behaviour.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting. It doesn’t mean not learning from something. It means freeing up your energy to focus on yourself, rather than on someone else and their mistakes.
The quote above is taken from the chapter on how to forgive. If you want to read more, you can get the full book by clicking here.