"Holding" awareness does not mean that your mind should be silent, or that no agitation will arise. All it means is that you simply know that thinking is happening. You are aware that emotions are arising. Do not expect that your mind should be obliterated instantly. The whole trick is that the mind throws something up, and we become distracted and believe “I must be doing something wrong – since thoughts are still there” - and then we once again become sucked into thinking.
If thinking is happening, and you know that thinking is happening, it means you are already present and aware. This is enough. If thinking or emotions are moving, and you do not even know it, then a part of you is still asleep. Holding awareness means only that. Awareness does not put conditions on the mind. It is just aware of what is happening. Awareness does not say “my mind must be silent for this to work”, or “I must not feel pain”. Even these thoughts arise in awareness.
Neither does awareness give importance to the mind or identify with the mind. Identity arises in it.
Awareness is neutral. It is not an object that you can see, it is what you are. The mind will quieten, peace will come of its own accord, if you stop looking for it and instead just remain as impartial awareness, allowing your inner state to just be as it is. Rather than being fascinated by content and everything that is seen, be fascinated with yourself as the source and awareness of all that is.