Question:
Hi Adam, while practicing your suggestion, I am allowing every energetic sensation to be fully present. I still have a question. While I am in this state I get a lot of negative thoughts. For example, one neighbour came to our place recently, and thoughts keep coming up whether I said something wrong which the other person might not have liked. And I make negative assumptions about what they told me about their personal life. And if I have a wrong belief, I get worried about my condition. All these negative thoughts make my energetic sensations stay longer. What should I do about this? Thanks.
Response:
Hello,
Treat them the same, they are all part of the same resistance and "negative" energy. They call for your attention and belief, and they come to start trouble. Offer no resistance to trouble, do nothing about it, let it be there. It is a paradox that if you do not mind what thoughts come, negative thoughts will come less, and if they do come, will command less power.
Don't be responsible for these thoughts. Let them leave when they wish. Have no will that they be gone. Don't fight or try to work anything out. Don't analyse. You say these thoughts make the energies stay longer, so why give them any importance? Trouble-making thoughts want to disturb you, they want a reaction and to distract you from being free.
So be free, be undisturbed, even if these thoughts come. They are not your own to manipulate, your power lies in not believing thoughts that arise, and not identifying with them. Listen to them without any opinion, desire or judgement. Then it becomes naturally clear that the voice in the head speaks, while you are listening. Do not assume thoughts are true, do not assume they are you.
Don't be fooled by more negative thoughts arising when you are present. You are doing nothing wrong. Often they may initially get worse, since they need to create a greater distraction for you to no longer be present, and for them to survive through your belief and identification. On another level, it could be said that when faced with presence, these thoughts have space to come to the surface and be naturally released, and so it appears they are getting worse, when really they are just being released.
This is all a blessing in disguise. Thinking becomes too disturbing and unbearable, and so you are forced to no longer maintain your belief and identity in thoughts, you are forced to surrender your personal will (which is of the ego) and you gradually or suddenly realise your connection with the whole of existence. You become more real.
Question: Does that mean that all these thoughts are false?? Why do I keep believing in these self-critical thoughts?
Yes, they are false.
The reason for belief is just habit and conditioning. Other people can criticise, so we believe it is valid. Whether it is parents, friends or teachers, criticism is often an integral part of our relationships. We are also trained to be self-critical, as if self-criticism has a value and purpose of making us better, or allowing us to progress. This is not really true at all. It just makes things worse, and creates suffering. We are trained to believe in the thoughts that arise. School especially teaches this indirectly - "thoughts are trustworthy".
Notice how you can even observe belief arising, belief is not you either, but is a power that emanates from you.
The reason why no longer matters. Just try an experiment of not believing them when they arise. See what it is like to not believe thoughts. See how it feels. If fear comes with it, don't believe in this either.
Adam