by Michelle
Question:
Hi Adam, how can one stop thoughts and feelings of jealousy? I dont want to feel jealousy but even if I tell myself I will not be jealous I cant stop the thoughts. I feel it more when I sense someone close to me might leave me. Thanks for your help. M
Response:
What happens if you let yourself be jealous, fully, so that there is no longer a separation between how you feel and how you want to feel?
Things like jealousy often stick around because they are uncomfortable, or we feel as if they are wrong. In either case we fight the feeling or judge it or try to control it in some way. It is just an energy fluctuation, what happens if you allow yourself to feel as jealous as possible?
In that space of allowing, there is no longer anything trying to press back against the jealousy, and it is often revealed to be a futile feeling, one that does not positively influence any area of your life. We often unconsciously believe that feelings like these will help protect us, keep things the way we want them, give us a sense of security in life when it comes to relationships. But if you allow your own jealousy, no longer conflict with yourself, then you may see, effortlessly, that it was never needed, that all it did was make you feel smaller and sadder than you really are.
So it is not about stopping the thoughts or feelings. It is easier than that. Say yes to them, and see what happens.
Hope that can help, let me know,
Adam