Question:
My name is Jacob and I suffer from Chronic pain, due to P.T.S.D. The pain is daily and ongoing.
Some days I do get slight relief from the pain, but the majority of my days/weeks and/or months it can be so intense and very overwhelming to live with. Painkillers do not work with it, doctors say it's more psychological pain. I am in therapy and that hasn't helped, though in the earlier days it seemed to work wonders.
When it gets so bad I cannot help when the mind goes straight into this horrible, negative thinking and suffering, which only convinces me that it will always be like this for me. I can't seem to see any light at the end of the tunnel.
I know it's a negative story playing on a loop inside my mind when it gets so overwhelming, but I just cannot help it. I have tried. I really feel I don't have a choice, but to struggle and suffer as it all gets too much for me.
I want to ask for any suggestions or advice on how to cope with this chronic pain, especially when it gets at its worst. Many people tell me I have to just accept it. I don't know how to accept it though. Is it by telling myself every single day that I don't have a choice and just grin and bear it? Or is it just smile and keep telling myself positive stories that in reality I don't believe in them anyway? I just want to stop being a victim. I just don't know how to get out of this because pain is pain and it's painful none-the-less! Physically and mentally exhausting.
The situation is starting to distress and depress me immensely. I am now getting desperate and I would be very grateful for any advice you may have.
Thank you for your time Adam.
Jacob.
Response:
Ok. So it seems that it's extremely difficult now to actually stop or get rid of the psychological pain. It seems to be there by itself, and your actions seem to no longer help you to put an end to it.
The worst part about any type of pain is feeling as if you are trapped inside or connected with or identified with the pain, and there is a desire to get out and be free of it, but all this desire does is create more struggle and suffering.
Acceptance in this case is not another action to take up. Nor is it something to do so that you can get rid of the pain. It is seeing that the movement or sensation is already there, that by the time it is suffered or reacted to, it is already there. Something is allowing it to be there, otherwise it would not be there at all. What is it that is already allowing the pain to be there, without making any complaint about it or suffering any of it?
This does not mean stop yourself from complaining or suffering or anything like that. But notice there is a space in which it is already playing out, and the space is already letting it be, already allowing it.
Then, there is the tight or contracted sensation of "me" which feels stuck inside the pain, and desperately wishes to be free from the sensation. It resists pain, so its own sense of separation is enhanced, which adds to the pain even more. And yet, even this "sufferer", this apparent entity that is suffering pain - this is also an appearance that is already being allowed in the greater space.
You don't have to try to stop suffering. If pain is there, the instant reaction is to tighten, to try to fix, to try to mend or end it through some kind of effort. Notice this, and notice if this reflex helps at all. Even though it is counter-intuitive, experiment by suffering willingly. Don’t call it suffering or pain, treat the sensation as if it were your will for it to be there, or that it is the universe's will for it to be there, so there is no point arguing with it. Something inside may resist all of this, but this is again something that is already being allowed.
If you still feel like you can perhaps control any of this, then you may feel half-tied to the sensations, and a struggle may be there. If you see that it is all really out of personal control, there can be a sense of opening up and letting go.
Notice if there is any condemnation of the pain. From early we are taught "pain is bad", so if it arises we feel that the experience simply should not be like this. Relax any labels or condemnation of the sensation, and do not struggle against it.
So acceptance or allowance is already there, but something else that is identified with as "me", is a ball of resistance that loves to suffer and struggle. When the resistance becomes exhausting, when the resistance falls away simply because it can not be sustained anymore, (rather than falling off as another technique to escape pain), then the opposition and conflict will drop off, and if pain still remains, there is no one left to suffer it.
Can you locate exactly who or what is suffering, and whether this thing is who you are?
I hope that helps somehow, please feel free to ask follow-ups below if you wish,
Thanks for your question, the less you argue with the present experience, the more space there is for healing and release. Be aware that at first, the pain may flare up and get even worse. This is fine, it just means it is releasing itself. It will not last. Nothing does.
Adam
Comments for How To Deal With Chronic Pain?
(from previous website )
May 01, 2015
Always useful
by: Brian W.
Profound. As always, thank you for these words (that nobody has spoken).
May 02, 2015
.
by: Adam - InnerPeaceNow.com
Thanks Brian, very welcome.
May 03, 2015
Beautiful
by: Anu
Beautiful Adam. I hate to suffer, but "I" do and suffering remains part of duality in experience. It cannot be done away with.
When the suffering peaks, then only, I really started allowing. It was helplessness that triggered the process for me. It was failure to control it any way, form or fashion. Always love your posts and thanks for all your help and guidance along.
May 03, 2015
Thanks
by: Adam - InnerPeaceNow.com
Thanks Anu, all the best.
May 06, 2015
Thank you
by: Andrea
This was a Godsend, considering I'm going through a difficult health issue. Thank you.
May 07, 2015
Being Present
by: Jacob
Hello Adam,
I want to say a massive thank you. I took on board your advice, your wisdom and kind words. I have remained present. You were right that feelings, sensations and pain did flare up and it did feel like it was all permanent. Thankfully, it hasn't been, the more I am just aware, no stories behind the sensations I feel, no victimized state. Just being present. I am feeling these sensations can either blow quickly, or either they last for a while somewhat, but don't intensify. Even if they do, I seem to be okay. I seem to just be in a state of not bothering.
It's strange what is happening. But, I am going with the flow. I also read your quick tip article and that too has helped. I am taking everything in my stride as if it's just happening. It just is. There is no more myself trying to fix or control it, trying to make it better. Just allowing it. Accepting it (in a different way than before)
I am eternally grateful for your help, I can't thank you enough for your time and wise words.
Thank you Adam. Thank you very much indeed. You helped me out of the hell I had been living in for so long.
Jacob.
May 08, 2015
Thank you
by: Adam - InnerPeaceNow.com
Andrea, thanks for your comment, I'm glad the article was able to help.
Jacob, thank you as well. Glad the words hit home for you, I don't feel I need say any more.
All the best to both of you,
Adam.
Jun 14, 2015
Thank You
by: M
Just what I needed to read today.
Jun 16, 2015
Excellent post
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Jun 17, 2015
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