One of the biggest hidden agonies of the human experience is the need or the desire for the present experience to be different. We often have a background feeling of “my current experience is somehow not enough, it needs to be different in some way”, and this manifests as many different desires and intentions to make us feel better, to take away the background sense of unease or discontentment...
"I've taken some steps against becoming a peaceful and happy being. However, there's the matter of other people and their own negativity, in this case my closest family. They are quite a wonderful, but negative bunch. I've often been mad at them and trying to change their ways but I realize now how wrong I was and nowadays I try to change myself..."
Is it possible for you to not identify with the anxiety? I realise the feelings and sensations can be intense, perhaps crippling at times, but is it possible for you to not look for yourself in the feelings, to not take them to be who you are? You are the awareness of anxiety, not the anxiety itself...
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