Finding Inner Peace
Peace is an absence of conflict. So inner peace is to no longer be in conflict with your inner state. To no longer judge, to no longer attempt to control whatever the inner reality is, and instead allow it to be, without taking responsibility for it.
If you can see that thoughts, emotions, feelings, pleasure and pain are spontaneous appearances, that you do not decide to create, then you no longer need to take yourself to be the personal controller of any inner movement or experience, and so whatever disturbs or creates conflict inside can not stay for long.
In this relinquishment of inner manipulation, you may notice that there is no personal thinker of thoughts, no personal producer of emotion, no personal sufferer of pain, and no personal enjoyer of pleasure. The little, personal self (the ego) is seen to be illusory, and it drops away. Then we are aware of the deeper existence, the Life beyond form, without which no form could exist. This Life, existence, is not separate from who you are.
So you don’t have to search for or find inner peace. Instead see that the conflict with your present experience is quite futile, that it does not heal or truly resolve anything. Your present experience, whatever it may be, already is as it is. If you give up arguing with it, you see it is not really "your" experience - the person who feels they are suffering from the experience is seen to be just another thought. Your own sense of existence remains untouched.
It is the personal mind that masks natural inner peace. The imaginary personal self feels it is in control, responsible for each thought and feeling, and that Life is somehow its own responsibility. Relinquishing your control over your inner state exposes this personal self to be merely imagination, and that peace is not far away - it is one with existence, from which the personal self arises.
Recent Pages on Finding Inner Peace...
People I speak with during one-to-ones are often thrown off by negative thoughts. They might be in a good place mentally, but a particular painful thought might keep coming back to nag them.
One of the best solutions is indifference…
I hope this article helps to give you a quick and easy method for how to deal with negative thoughts and a negative mind, allowing you to access a part of your mind that can actually give rise to positive and empowering thoughts.
Forgiveness can be made easier through asking yourself the question:
"If I was able to forgive or let go of this - then how would I feel?"
If you ask the question and feel for the response, and repeat this inner experiment, eventually you might reach a point where you are experiencing the freedom of forgiveness, without ever making the step to forgive and let go.
I hope this video helps in making forgiveness easier, which was taken from a one-to-one session with me.
Recently during a group Zoom call I began by talking about the attempt to quieten the mind, and how to make it easier.
Trying to silence or calm the mind through force can create extra tension. If we realise that this calmness or quietness is all around us all the time, then it is easier for the noise to merge with that silence naturally. Below you can watch a short clip of me explaining this little tip that can make meditation easier. I hope it helps...
Hello everyone,
Recently during a one-to-one session I was speaking with someone about jealousy and the reason for it.
Jealousy is usually an ineffective attempt to get what we want. If someone has something that we want, but we think we don't have it, the jealous feeling can be an inner objection, like a child becoming upset if it doesn't get its own way, demanding that things change for the better.
During a recent group Zoom meeting for inner peace, someone began asking about how to move out of negative self-stories. This led to a response about the mind ultimately seeking some sense of existence or security, and how this sense of security could be accessed directly in a much more enjoyable way. Then there is a segment about inner peace - how you can treat it as an infinite and abundant energy that is constantly around you and flowing through you, and you are either noticing it, or not...
You may have heard the advice:
Ask yourself - what is your relationship with the present moment? Are you in resistance or are you in alignment? Are you fighting the present moment or allowing it and therefore being moved by it?
A similar question that might lead to even more powerful results is:
What is your relationship with the universe?
Recently during a one-to-one session I was asked about what to do if you experience feelings of inadequacy or unworthiness. The person I was speaking with felt as if they needed to achieve something in order to feel complete. Try this simple game for inner peace...
If you ever find your mind is giving you any grief, experiment with not taking the content of your mind too seriously.
The "content" means the thoughts or associated feelings…
Is reluctance to do some activity a signal from my inner being?
I have lots of moments of deep reluctance to do some activity. Take, for example, my blog writing. Or housework. Or exercise. At other times, there seems to be a willingness to do the same things. So I feel it's not the activity per se I am not ready to do. But I can't understand why I have these times of deep reluctance.
Hello everyone,
Someone suggested I share some examples of questions I answer during one-to-one sessions. My responses always reflect whoever I am talking to. Someone might be very into "spiritual" topics already, while someone else might just want a way to feel more free. Here is an example of someone who was already following a particular practice who wanted help. I hope it's useful...
Recently when I shared Seng Tsan's Verses on a Faith Mind on my Sunday Wisdom newsletter, people seemed to respond very well. Since then I have had a few questions about portions of the text, what they mean, and how they can apply to everyday life. I'll do my best to answer these questions, while expanding on some of the lines where it might be helpful.
Today we will look at the opening verse:
How can I stop feeling depressed and flat and empty? Nothing seems to excite me or motive me, and I feel stuck in this limbo dead state. Since this coronavirus isolation I've been at home, and I have felt so empty with nothing-ness, just a bland state of being and flat emotionally. I am looking for things to motive me and change my focus for some excitement but nothing seems to really motivate me emotionally . People ring me and I must sound really down and just empty inside.
I recently spent some time with my husband's family to attend a family event. I had some difficulty with one of his close family members. During our time together she kept me out of the conversation as if I was invisible, she never looked in my direction to totally ignored me.
How do I avoid feeling rejected and emotionally depleted in her company?
Feeling gratitude or appreciation can feel hard if you are focused on something you don't want. Hopefully this video can help to show that gratitude can be easier to experience when we no longer demand an object for it at first...
The gratitude hack is to not demand a reason to feel grateful, and instead focus on the unconditional feeling…
“My question is, I have overcome a lot from addiction, anxiety, self esteem and I owe it all to Buddhism and my practice of almost three years. As I approach my 3rd soberthday. I kind of feel like I read too many Buddhist books and that though I have come so far, I really haven't gotten anywhere, is that weird? In the midst of feeling so much better and waking up a little. I wonder if I've gotten anywhere at all. Your thoughts, please and thank you.”
Forgiving yourself begins by forgiving your own mind.
When we see that our minds are always trying to help us in some way, forgiving ourselves and our own thoughts becomes easier...
My books and blogs speak enough about what to do (or not do) when you are experiencing “mind storms” of anxiety, anger, frustration, or an oncoming depression. “Pain body” or “Painmaker” attacks can create a whirlwind of uncontrollable suffering that leaves someone feeling as if they are a victim of their own mind and emotions.
For this week, rather than focussing on what to do or not do when these mind storms come, instead focus on the clarity or peace that is present when these mind storms are NOT there.
Give yourself a negativity detox this week.
If you feel yourself becoming negative over something, then give yourself permission to not support those thoughts with your belief or resistance.
If you are looking for any kind of practice during the week to help you find freedom, here is an easy one…
Pretend as if it was impossible to get rid of your ego, or the mind that seems to cause you trouble. If you feel as if there is a heavy identity or personality that seems to get in the way of things or create a disturbance, let go of the idea that you can get rid of it…
Go beyond words by seeing they can only describe and point. They are not the truth of anything.
It is useful to look at what you are believing in your head.
Thoughts are one thing. The belief in them is another.
Our training is to always believe in every thought that arises. For many people, this becomes limiting, since their thoughts are not always constructive to the rest of life.
People often have the feeling that they want to be free from the mind, free from negativity, free from lack or struggle.
Instead of trying to be free, notice any freedom you already have.
Sometimes we can feel powerless. Powerless over life, powerless against other people, even powerless over our own minds that can be causing great distress.
But we all have a hidden power, one that is always there, but often goes unrecognised because it has no form…
It’s easy if you are on any kind of spiritual or self-development path to begin to despise the ego for the pain it can bring. It can bring an uncontrollably noisy mind, intense regrets, fears, worries, doubts, insecurities, self-sabotage, unbelievable layers of complexity…the list could go on…
It’s easier said than done sometimes. Our noisy minds have such a pull, with each thought cleverly leading our attention into it, only to lead into another all-encompassing thought, that the idea of even trying to ignore thoughts can feel strenuous, even painful to bear.
Recently during a one-to-one session, someone asked me how to deal with stress. A technique came up that was quite effective, and I hope it can help anyone here who is dealing with anything similar…