Another thing that comes up when I speak with people is the underlying sense of deadness that so many of us feel. It seems to be sitting there, lurking, ready and waiting to create a great deal of discomfort if we are not outwardly stimulated in some way...
It is there before you turn on TV. It is there before you browse the internet. It is there before you unconsciously begin looking for drama or things to worry about or fear, because all of these things provide at least something, some element of life or excitement or aliveness to cover up the terrible dead feeling that lies underneath.
Some people can avoid the deadness until they die. It doesn’t take much to face it while you are alive.
Simply feel it, rather than wishing it away, and begin to see the positive things about it. There is an incredible amount of silence in it. There is a sense of rest. There is a sense of numbness perhaps, a sense that pain can’t get too extreme if the numbness remains.
And perhaps that is why it is here for so many of us. The deadness or the numbness stays in our systems, feeling as if it’s at our very base, so that our sense of pain can be decreased. Perhaps it is there as a kind of protective mechanism, to prevent pain from the past or the present being felt too strongly, too extremely, too intimately.
We all tend to want to avoid pain, which is not unnatural. But as long as you wish to avoid the pain that still feels stuck inside you, then you will still feel this deadness or numbness, because it helps you to avoid the stronger sensations.
If you want to overcome the deadness or the numbness, appreciate what it has done for you. Appreciate its intentions of trying to numb stronger pains. Notice that when you begin to thank it for its noble role, then it no longer feels as if it is your base. It begins to feel like another sensation, arising in space.
If you want the deadness gone, it might feel stronger. If you can let it stay, it might begin to feel smaller, or weaker.
So much of this is about noticing why we have certain sensations or feelings, noticing that they do on some level believe that they are helping us to achieve something. When we notice this, then we no longer believe they are “all bad”, the relationship lightens, and this is most of the work done already. Then the sensation or behaviour has space again to dissolve or move on, without us even wanting it to.
If you would like to talk or work through more of this, I am available for one-to-one sessions for anyone who feels they want to go further or deeper, to unravel old or unwanted energies so that there can be a greater sense of freedom and inner peace.
All the best for now,
Adam