Parent Pressures
Question:
Hello Adam,
How are you? Hope all is well. I wanted to thank you for your insightful offering on the mind and reaching peace within our minds. I happened upon your response to a question someone asked about managing emotions in regards to negativity with close family members. Your response was so direct and honest and it has been helping me to remember to remain neutral in these energy transactions-work in progress at the moment.
My question is how does one move past from the past? In other words I’m realizing as I get older that there were things about my childhood which have affected me until now and I haven’t addressed them fully within myself. Feelings of having to be perfect and be “successful” and to be independent and not too sensitive etc. I feel guilty putting it into words because I didn’t lack anything growing up and my parents were loving to their best abilities...but I also don’t think they understood me or tried to hold space for me to be 100% me. I do think some part of me holds disappointment and pressure to be who they wish me to be when I interact with them now and I would like to move past those thoughts/feelings and accept them as they are in this moment. Thank you.
Response:
Hello,
Thanks for your message.
I would say there is nothing major you have to do other than start to find some sense of security or stability or ease within yourself so that you aren’t seeking it from someone else.
Realise you can’t control what people think. Realise it isn’t actually your job to make anyone else happy. Realise that the past isn’t such a big deal, and that if old stuff arises, it only takes a hold of you if you take it seriously.
They did their best, as you know. They didn’t have to understand you or even let you be yourself. It’s nothing to do with them anymore. It’s only to do with you. Whatever you feel they are depriving you of is only what you are depriving yourself of. If you think they need to give you more space to be yourself, then you should lead by example. Give yourself the 100% space, and give it to them too. If you can do that, then it will help a great deal. All the trouble comes from resistance. Find a way to no longer resist who they are, or who you are.
Hope that can help,
Adam
Inner Peace Now > Practical Inner Peace > Pressure From Parents