Loneliness is not something to be avoided anymore. Everyone has known it to some extent. We can carry the fear of loneliness around through our entire experience of the world, but never face it and dissolve it.
We always have a distraction. It may be the TV, it may be friends, it may be the spouse, it may be the Internet, or even work. Even the spiritual ideas of meditation can come in to mask the idea of loneliness - it fills the mind at least with an idea that it is doing something, some pre-occupation or perceived activity.
Simply face loneliness without trying to change it. You may be surprised at what happens when you no longer try to avoid it, when you no longer fear the feeling, when you can let it be there without interpreting it, without taking it personally.
It is a feeling, perhaps attached to thoughts and a personal identity – that is all. It is not something you need to try to overcome or manage or do anything about. Do absolutely nothing about it. There is actually a huge power in doing absolutely nothing, in looking absolutely nowhere. Then you are being yourself, but of course the false self (or "the ego) hates this, since it can no longer survive or be taken as real.
Loneliness is always based on the “me”, the personal mind that feels unsatisfied, alone in the universe, separate from all things, disempowered, desperate for something to alleviate its background misery. Being alone exposes this fully. The mind can no longer be distracted, its discontent can no longer be masked or suppressed. It is fully here, and it is not pleasant.
All of its fears and insecurities are at the surface, trying to create trouble. “Just do something, watch TV…” all of these impulses are to alleviate the mind from its own burden. Don’t run any more. Let it be there. It does not last when you give up your aversion to loneliness, when you no longer wish it were different. Simply experience it as it is, without analysing or telling a story about it. This is the way to treat everything, allow it, let the experience be as it is.
Perhaps it is programmed in us somewhere to resist being alone, to always seek advice and further programming from external sources. As Krishnamurti said, in aloneness the mind is no longer contaminated by society. We are always taught to get our answers from someone else, to look outside for our solutions. Rarely are we told to turn within, to live from an inner truth rather than a prescribed set of ideals from someone else. Rebel. Be alone and fully embrace what is felt. All of the inner turmoil becomes burnt in this inner environment. It may not be comfortable at first, but just give up the idea of “trying to get somewhere else”, set aside the need for things to be different in how you feel, give up the argument.
As it is seen that this personal self, the inner commentator, is merely a creation of thought, that the individual self is a mere appearance in the ocean of being, or consciousness, then who is left to be lonely? Loneliness begins to lose its meaning, since in a sense, you are the only one here, you are the one consciousness that gives rise to all things...
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Inner Peace Now > Inner Peace Blog > Emotional Wellness > How To Deal With Loneliness